I watched a boy become a man. More accurately, I watched what felt like the culmination of a journey of growth. Now, it’s not that it’s over, of course – in all kinds of ways. The truth is I’m not the same today as I was 3 months ago – let alone the same as the woman I was at 19 years old.
The difference, I guess, is that this boy seems to understand that he is on this journey now in a completely different way. He is going about his days doing things that young men do. There is this sense, though, that he understands now that he is part of a larger picture.
I met him when he was 12 years old. He and his folks have done so much for me over the years. They were aware that I was ill for a long time and went out of their way to care for me in ways that are out of fashion now. Chris and his dad have done everything from being in my crawlspace moving cable to caring for my dogs when I’m out of town. They have loved me, in a “hands on” way, for years. I believe in the “family of choice” and they are family to me.
Chris is special to me because he has let me love him in a very parental sort of way. I think that has been a really special gift. Because of his choice to do so, I’ve tried to be careful about not offering unsolicited advice – however, upon occasion I do feel an obligation. When he started smoking I couldn’t remain objective.
He’s also incredibly unique. I think that his special blend of “real” is amazing. He’s a sensitive kid with a gift for anything mechanical. He also has a sort of old west kind of independence. He’s warm and funny. He’s self effacing. He’s loyal, goofy and a little bit wild.
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| Chris was one of 4 out of 165 recruits to be rated "Expert" in the 9 mm |
The other thing is that he was floundering here. He was at a place where trouble was beginning to distract him. He needed new adventures to keep things moving forward. When we talked, I could tell that he felt trapped. The necessity that most of us feel to find ways to make life interesting and exciting was beginning to cause festering sores inside him.
At his boot camp graduation – they were gone. His voice was lower and he stood taller. He called the waitress ma’am 3 times during lunch. I saw, in his eyes, a pride in himself that I know will stand him in good stead as he moves forward. When he hugged his mother at graduation with tears streaming down his face . . . I felt this cathartic thing happening with him.
Chris is in “A school” in Florida now, learning his new job. Then, he is on to California from there to begin the next phase of his life. I hope his newfound sense of place in the world gives him a good foundation for what happens next.
Those big occasions in our lives, graduation, weddings, certain birthdays even – give us opportunities to see the world differently. I know this one did for him – and it sure did for me.
